Hey. Remember that last post (it’s right down there) asking when summer’s going to get here? Well, turns out that I’ve neglected this blog just long enough that summer’s pretty well arrived. And do you know what comes with that sticky, oppressive, sweltering heat? Drinking on patios.*

There’s something magical about guzzling alcoholic beverages outside. Is it the interplay between the cool of the beverage vs. the heat of the atmosphere? Does my Miller High Life really taste better out there amongst the mosquitoes, pollen and rays of sunshine? Yes. Yes it absolutely does. I don’t know why, and I don’t care why. All I know is that it tastes better and that I need to order another round as soon as possible.

But it doesn’t stop there. Not only do the drinks taste better outside, but the conversations are better, aren’t they? There’s a sense of camaraderie that comes with patio drinking; a sense of communication and laughter that you just don’t get cooped up indoors. I bet scientists could conduct a study about it. They’d have a group of people talk about the dumbest thing, let’s say structural integrity of particle board, but in two different settings: 1. in a living room; 2. out on a patio. I’m willing to bet $2.00 that they have more fun talking about it outside.

But then again, it’s only the end of May. Perhaps all the patio drinking will get old. We’ll inevitably get into the torrid days of July and August, when it’s so hot your sneakers stick to the pavement and you sweat just standing up. Maybe then we won’t want to drink outside. Perhaps this is all just blowing off the steam of being stuck inside all winter. Until then, I’m going to slog them down in the sun. Because the end, does it matter? Who cares why you’re drinking your Bell’s Oberon in a plastic chair, getting sun burnt? Why bother wondering why your Jack + Coke tastes so much better outside? One shouldn’t care why it’s awesome or why one drinks on patios. It’s. Just. Awesome.

I asked a fellow patio-drinking enthusiast to fill in the blanks: “Drinking on patios is ___.” She came up with some pretty profound statements.

“Drinking on patios is the best way to make me late for work the next day.”

“Drinking on patios is where I have my best ideas.”

“Drinking on patios isn’t the same without cigarettes.”

I’m inclined to 100% agree with all of those statements. So I don’t know about any of you, but I’m thirsty, and I can hear the laughter at the bar just down the street.

*Let it be known that this is one of the many reasons this blog gets neglected